Tuesday, July 21, 2015

After Attempted Self-Destruction Part 1:



You once lived too close to the sun you sought in others; you are in-between death and life; will you walk into the light that you can’t find; stop, searching for yourself in the broken pieces of your best friend; you aren’t dead, but this can’t be living either; your best friend can’t love you if you’re dead; so you keep breathing until it becomes too much to handle; you describe your bond so dark you only seek him when you can’t exist with yourself; you met him, but he never seemed to have met you; your eyes, looking in his moon, howling for the stars in his throat, tell him to stop leaving you for himself; I’m sorry you don’t believe in life at first sight; it’s okay to spell yourself in ink; I understand existing can be too much at times; this blood looks like a painting you’ve been preparing for; waiting for him won’t make him sign your skin with his eyes; he doesn’t realize his mouth can carry so many sins, but you love him; I understand drowning yourself in his oceans will feel like home, but he is not all your Earth; your home, so full of his death, his cologne waiting to intoxicate your shoulders, stop lifting his teeth; his bite, will make you damp; his hands will only bruise you without touching you; I can relate to this moment of black; your skin is so fascinating to metal, the way you make symphonies with your veins; you are so inviting; don’t question why he made you his home, your breath keeps his spine from breaking; now, in this water that you are drowning in do you find your peace; stop, cutting yourself, so short; you can’t be a legend from within her; mother nature doesn’t want to carry another broken soul; do not plan on loving yourself if you are broken; the desert in you only looks for the saliva of your mouth in others; calm yourself, hold your breath, long enough to remember why you started breathing in the first place; wake up, make your bed without you in it; tuck yourself neatly in the space you fill in this world; remind yourself that today is the day; today is the day you love, yourself, first; tomorrow, wash, rinse, repeat; wash your body without scrubbing your worth off too hard; rinse your demons from living in the sins of your memories; repeat this until you are holy enough to stand in the mirror with the lights on; 

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