07/21/15

(work in progress)

Dear Lucifer,

I won’t commit suicide today.

I won’t tighten my rope for you,

Good boys sit with their tongue still enough to silence their sexuality

I’d rather snap my fingers too gay than snap my neck

My shorts will be longer than my life span

I refuse to make my birthday the day I sang too loudly to find my way out of a coffin

There are steps to living with you,

I’ve tried them before

1. Tell yourself that today is the day you don’t slip under the knife

it’s okay that surgery can’t fix you,

can you count the times you’ve tried drowning yourself alive

the bath tub just isn’t deep enough

2. Cook what you set on the grill, Lucifer won’t burn you too hard if you ask nicely
   bite your tongue, sometimes that’s the only meat your mouth should swallow

3. Stop being flexible enough to be bent. No one likes a boy that can bend his spine as easily as his morals.
4. Men aren’t supposed to be seen without their throats; make sure to leave your dignity at home where you left him
5. Repeat your name in a graveyard, repeat your name in a graveyard, repeat your name in a graveyard, third time’s the charm
6. Stand in 6 feet of water, practice holding your breath, it might come in handy
7. Give God a sign, he left you the rainbow but sometimes colors get misconstrued  
8. Do wait to be born still; no one likes waiting in line for a broken toy
9. Hide and go seek forgiveness; the church won’t teach how to be enough for yourself but swallowing the body of another man is forgiveness, apparently
10. Hang with yourself. 6 feet under.