2014 has been an amazing journey. It definitely came with its triumphs and turmoils but I still made it through. 2015 is here!  Praying number 9 will be my cohort tongue. I ask God is for love and safety for my friends and family. Let's get on this next roller-coaster.

I keep telling myself.

I don't know if I can handle anymore months of waiting.

I feel like knowing whether or not I got it is eating me alive.

I really have no one to tell this to, so maybe my blog can hold some of the thoughts racing through my head.

What is light anymore. I feel heavy. 

Probably one of my favorite pictures. I can't thank God enough for my parents. Regardless of what happens, and countless arguments, I want to work until I am nothing but skin and bones to make sure they are nothing less than glory and kingdom. I will make my parents the legacy they have fought so hard to keep alive. 

I got into my dream school. I've wanted to attend the University of Wisconsin-Madison since I heard about them at Brave New Voices this past summer. I know that without God I wouldn't be here. Every time I think about First Wave, I begin to cry. I don't think anyone understands how badly I want this. I've never been good at anything and I'm just scared. Is my art enough. Is my truth enough. If I don't get First Wave is my writing journey over? I know I shouldn't let this determine everything I am but how can it not when all I've ever wanted is to be is more than the words on my paper. I pray that God believes I am enough. 

I want to be light. 

#ATLPRIDE2014

It was truly amazing witnessing so much love in one area. 

Pride was everything you could imagine and so much more. It was refreshing seeing so many churches and businesses supporting the LGBT community. 

love is all around

Almost.

I hope to find a school I can actually call home by Fall 2015. Everything now is uncertain. I am lost, I hope to be found. 

As the next hosting state, ATLANTA GA was requested repeatedly to be featured on Final stage. This was the first time EVER atl touched final stage since their start in 2009! It was such a surreal feeling, words cannot describe the adrenaline rush you go through on stage! 

Top: Group members and our "recieve it, yaaasssss."

Middle Left: Last practice run before going on stage

Middle Right: Atlanta, Ga performing on final stage for the first time ever!!!!!!

Bottom: Getting into my zone before performing "Public Trans," an amazing piece inspired by two transgender women fighting for the right to be themselves. Thank you ladies, we cannot formulate anything to say but how thankful we are for women as brave as yourselves. 

Brave New Voices 2015 is going to be INSANE! #Day4 #FinalStage #BraveNewVoices2014

This is when I was being interviewed about the teenage high school drop out rate and my thoughts on the influences surrounding the issue. It was crazy that they specifically sought me out (texted my coach and mentors asking for me) to interview me! They also liked the poem I did which was just more good news! I was very blessed to have the opportunity to speak with my own point of views, thank you HOODSTOCK & Brave New Voices 2014! #Day4

HOODSTOCK was amazing, it was great to get out of UPenn and actually see real parts of Philly! #Day4

This was Quarter-Finals day, unfortunately we missed semi-finals by 0.1 points. Little did anyone know, including us, that this wasn't the last time Brave New Voices 2014 would see Atlanta on stage. #Day3

I loved the pink chairs and my pink jumper pants. What a coincidence. #Day2 of Brave New Voices 2014!

First night of Brave New Voices 2014! Opening Ceremonies!

New New. I have been waiting so long to do this haircut but never had the guts. I did it for Brave New Voices 2014! & I love it so much...for now

Day #1

today was Brave New Voices first rehearsal and it was amazing to say the least. Things got very intense very quickly. I mean what do you expect in a room full of writers and poets. This summer is going to be very interesting!

2015

I am now a senior, this year flew by! its honestly kinda scary. Life really waits for no one

Brave New Voices 2014

I CAN'T. I made top six for Atlanta's team of Brave New Voices 2014. It's surreal, I honestly don't know what to say. The fact that I didn't JUST made top six, my overall score was the highest (1st). That's insane.  Thank you to these beautiful ladies for supporting me!

THE DAY IS HERE

I was on twitter a couple minutes ago and I froze as I saw Lady Gaga's trucks for the artRAVE at the Philips Arena. I just stopped and thought that at this very moment in time, they're setting up. & TODAY I am going to see her. I started crying. She means so much to me. I cannot wait for tonight, praying that everything goes well, I have the time of my life and leave the concert feeling like a piece of her is with me.  

Brother

As you can clearly tell, we're complete opposites. Still, I look up to him so much. My brother is the smartest, hardworking, and determined person I know. I really aspire to have his drive to not only accomplish his goals but surpass them. Remember his face and name, you'll be seeing "Adan Velasquez" the doctor, a lot  in the coming years. 

artRAVE ARTPOPball

I cannot fathom the amount of excitement I have to see this woman on Tuesday May 6, 2014 at 7:30PM. I've waited 5 LONG agonizing years. The first two times she came to the Fox Theatre it was sold out, the second time she injured her hip before making it to Atlanta. Now it seems that everything will finally fall into place hopefully. I'm so happy she's made Atlanta, Ga her 2nd tour date. It makes me smile thinking that she would even think of coming here. I have literally been here since the beginning and I am still around and even more in love with her, if that's possible. I'm kind of scared of going by myself honestly. I hope to make at least one friend there that I can call a long life friend; & mutually share the love we have for our Mother Monster. Little Monsters, are you there?

I'm sick

I really love this shirt not in the sense that I'm better than others but that I'm weirder and bizarre

Shirt: RAG-O-RAMA

iNOS

Honestly no paragraph is needed. 

Prom 2014

I decided my muse for Prom would be Frankenstein. It's kind of surprising how much deeper meaning there is to every detail in my outfit. The henna on my hands represents that even the weirdness of myself has beauty; my skin is the canvas. The septum ring represents my "tag" that I've been labeled under, as if I am stamped or "pierced." The blue suit represents the depth of my emotions and thought process. The pink flower shirt symbolizes the happier times to come. The shoes...well...they bring together what Frankenstein is. A creation of a mad man, a doctor created his idea and brought it to life. This time around, I am the mad doctor and Frankenstein fused into one. Welcome, I am the creator of Frankenstein 2.0

Irrelevance

It's April 1st, and I feel like a complete failure. Just when things seem to be looking up, they fall right back down. It's kind of sad that I've gotten used to the feeling. Well,I'm pretty sure no one reads this or cares but it's a good way for me to get it out.

Fashion_Is_Medicine

Men's Fashion Week was so impeccable. Seeing multiple male runway shows made me want to make it as a fashion editor so much more. The underscores in the title represent the fashion industry as a whole and how there are so many new ideas and creations that have yet to be drawn or written. The blanks will hopefully never be filled, because the day they are is the day fashion has ceased evolution. With this, the day I can shake Anna Wintour's hand, I know I will have finally made it. 

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 5

Day 4

Chanel so Coco

Coco Chanel inspired

Shirt: H&M

Vest: H&M

Pants: Hand-sewn

Shoes: Dad's gift

Gag me, fuel me Gaga

This woman has been so much more than a talented songstress. Without her determination and throwing caution to the wind, I wouldn't be the G.U.Y. I am today. She is such a fearless human-being. One day I hope to inspire people like she has. I am a proud Little Monster and she is our Mother Monster. 

Happy Birthday Lady Gaga

Sweatshirt: Topman

Gloves: 21Men

Pants: Vintage Leather

Simple Smile

Well it's March and I've been so inspired by the idea of creating who I want to be. This is exactly why I seem to always change my appearance. Creating my idea of what is beautiful. So to begin, lets start off with my most simplistic look. No freckles, no big up-done outfit just a simple sweatshirt & a smile that I seem to wear more often now.

Sweatshirt: Guess

Smile: My own